Breezes float over squash patches now bursting: once bright blossoms, now baseball bats. I trepidatiously turn off the air con, leave the fan on just in case, to oscillate any surprise wash of wet heat fit to sideswipe us patient fall fanatics desperate for a cool morning and hot cider.
A September day, I finally pack away my winter sweaters. New England weather taunts to never Let the Sunshine In. Conditioned to keep alert for summer snows, I thought the cold would stay.
Nothing cold can stay, Ponyboy.
Oh. That’s Gold. Right.
Also Gold, as Autumn alchemizes the sun into shimmering, delicious apple, leaf, hillside. Gold will next pass Cold the baton of the Northeast. Sweaters barely hit their hibernation before they’re called back into service. Now, though, still besandaled walks and shirts sans sleeves.
Fall brings magic and romance and comfort in my witchcraft. I join the girlies on the 5th of July for Code Orange, when stores clear out the fireworks for spooky signs and Witch Way to the Wine glasses. I decorate jars with “Cats’ Whiskers,” and “Boneyard Dust,” and “Powdered Moth Wing” stickers holding Cat Treats, and Sugar, and Butterfly Pea Flower Tea, Respectively. My nosy cats probably leave actual whiskers in there too. I giggle that it works like that sometimes.
The Star, The Moon, The Sun of Tarot are seasonal drapings as much as Death, The Devil, The Tower. Celestial Promise after Peril. The Autumn sky calls me to marvel. The Summer Triangle still spins, Cassopeia’s Crown sparkles, the delicate teapot with lemon squeeze of Capricorn steeping, Cygnus the Swan starts to swim on, and soon Orion will hunt Taurus, stomping in with Betelguese hanging off his ghostly belt, To pursue and never slay.
I sink into the season, reminded as the Druids of this gift of harvest months: There is death and it is bountiful, and somehow it is delicious.
I hate to wax poetic to soothe the tragic. I loathe my lean to catch the melancholy in my glove before it rots, and spin it into glittering yarns, to weave you a warm tale that blankets the fallow of the year, to wrap around your shoulders, with your coffee on the porch, as breezes tumble leaves and leave them felled upon your feet.
The leaves know, as did the squash that failed to make the farmers’ market. They are nibbled, blackened, holey, and flutter to the ground next to their fiery fellow foliage. It makes no difference, be they lovely, be they gross. They all fall. They all become feast.
The king will behead or marry, whether the golden skein is spun, but either way, That’s a terrible king.
Where was I? Oh! the season. The terrible season of gorgeous sunsets and inevitable endings, that puts us in the sweetest trance. The magic of spices sprinkled in pumpkins, the mist of midnights under moonlight, the darkness soothing our skin as we quilt a cozy armor of fleece and hooded sweatshirts, to awaken the Celtic warrior who knows: This spell is required- -to let it all go. (For nothing gold can stay, remember.)
I spin with the stars, awash in reds and russets and sunlit rays, and tap my bonnie blackish cats upon their whiskered eyebrows with a grateful forehead bonk. I sip my sweetened squash elixir, even if it tastes like candles, and sing the bardic ballads of witches, mostly Stevie Nicks, as fading days drape me in Neesa’s silver shawl.* Grandmother Moon of Seneca holding me as breezes become gales, the Maiden-Mother-Crone reminding gold and cold will ever switch, and all keeps coming ‘round.
*Neesa is Grandmother Moon in Seneca. “Neesa, Neesa, Neesa” is a sacred chant, possibly gifted from Seneca Elder Grandmother Twylah Hurd Nitsch: Neesa, Neesa, Neesa Neesa, Neesa, Neesa Neesa, Neesa, Neesa Gai wey ho, Gai wey ho
Clouds frill fine tentacles; climb like jellyfish Up the autumn sky; cormorant’s black silhouette Poised to plunge stands on protruding rocks Lake bass unconcerned tips and flashes Bangs out giant ripples; leaves on slow roll-out— Dash of red, rind of orange, but mainly stubborn green and dry brown, while cricket drills A non-stop rush to find his mate Damp grass and cattails filter Walkers crunch on gravel paths Short-sleeved tees enough today Horizon sky slings gray; a silky breeze stirs First blue sky smiles in weeks suck off election stress Cheeks curl cool; the season when dark drops fast.
Speak to me of autumn Says she to me But what is autumn without you? You are autumn to me.
You are the leaves bright red and golden that lace my life together. You are flannel shirts And drives deep into New England country where we Discover together Covered bridges and Mountain peaks apples and Phantom Farm Pie. You are cozy nights watching Dracula Over and again Nestling before candles in twilight.
You are the arms that wrap me tight at night as Summer churns into Fall and I tumble into dreams kept safe by your touch.
You are the autumn sky Close and beautiful
Yes, of course, you left at the end of autumn As you arrived at the beginning You are a Libra Balancing life as only you would.
You passed on from this cacophony of ills midst a heavy blanket of orange and golden leaves you watched fall outside of our window. Leaves would not fall without you now but your spirit inspires them to continue their journey otherwise Autumn would come to a stop, Of this I am sure It would all come to a jarring stop For there would be no sense whatsoever
Without you in this world.
Your last journey up our stairs Wheelchair carried by two laboring medics Lifts you through the leaves The thick bright red leaves fall around you Your face weakly radiant Happy to be home where you have come back to die You look up and me and smile I peek at you barely, Unable to assemble what has led us to this place.
Never shall I release you As I walk among the leaves I see you in them everywhere My Autumn My Love of Autumn My Love.